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When This Unassuming Little Candle Starts To Melt, Something Deadly Pops Out

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Candles are basically the best. They make your home smell great, they add a little bit of luxury to every room, and you can use them to pretend that electricity isn’t real and you have to use candlelight to write letters for no reason whatsoever.

But watching them melt isn’t usually a good time. Much like the depression associated with watching money flow invisibly into your gas tank, watching your money melt — even if it’s a rose-scented affair — is never pleasant…unless you’re burning this candle, that is.

At first glance, this egg-shaped candle looks pretty normal, if a little bit bizarre.

In any case, it’s perfect for someone like me who is utterly terrified of colors.

But when you light the wick, things start getting awesomely weird. This thing helps you safely invite prehistoric monsters into your home, because who doesn’t want that?

It’s also perfect for someone like me who went to dinosaur camp as a kid. I see how insane that looks now that it’s in writing.

After a while, your little egg will melt into a cute new friend that you probably shouldn’t talk to because that’s weird!

I personally enjoy the fact that the dino lives in his own personal hot tub. This is the height of luxury!

To score your own little velociraptor, be sure to preorder one on Firebox. And don’t worry. If your cat doesn’t play well with others, the folks at Firebox assure us that this dinosaur is not actually real. (But they also say that you can train it to do your bidding, so who knows? Everything is a lie and you should trust no one.)