10 Products That Will Convince Everyone You’re an Evil Genius

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1. Sharks with Lasers

Sharks with Lasers

Okay, so it’s a laser pointer. We’re all on a budget, right? But it here.

2. Parrot Bebop Drone

Parrot Bebop Drone

Take to the skies to spy on other secret lairs. Find out where to buy here.

3. Voltron Cat Condo

Voltron Cat Condo

You destroyed a giant fighting robot and now you let your kittens play on it. Plus, they’re the cats you stroke in your evil genius videos. Buy it here.



Shoot fire from your hand. Buy it here.

4. Sharkskin Glove, Thorns In

Sharkskin Glove, Thorns In

With mic-rose thorns (in layman terms, ten thousand tiny fish hooks,) slanted in, so a hand could slide in, but not out. Get it here, if you’re actually a monster.

5. Ship Your Enemies Glitter

Ship Your Enemies Glitter

Your enemy will be covered in glitter for years, no one will take them seriously. Ship it from here.

6. Telepresence Robot

Telepresence Robot

Meet your enemies at their certain doom, all from the comforts of home. Skype in, move your robot around, and give rise to the robotic race. Get it here.

7. DIY Hidden Door Hinge System

DIY Hidden Door Hinge System

Can you believe this is on Amazon?

8. Pocket-Sized Grappling Hook

Pocket-Sized Grappling Hook

Obviously. Get it here.

Private Island

Private Island

Do your real estate shopping here.

9. Puff-N-Fluff Dog Dryer

Puff-N-Fluff Dog Dryer

Only a man who truly wants to watch the world burn would purchase this.