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How To Make The Most Of Your Disney Vacation… On Mushrooms.

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Theres a lot of folks coming to Walt Disney World, but most of them dont know how to do Walt Disney World. Make sure to pack your bag with lots of water, ponchos in case it rains, cameras, and sunscreen. Also be on mushrooms. A lot of mushrooms. Trust me, even all that boring Epcot stuff is spellbinding while on mushrooms.

First thing you need to do is go directly to Space Mountain. Should be easy to find cause, like, you ARE Space Mountain, man.

First thing you need to do is go directly to Space Mountain. Should be easy to find cause, like, you ARE Space Mountain, man.

Don”t bring a baby. Youre gonna have to spend your entire day taking care of a baby! That baby isnt going to know whats going on because hes a freaking baby and everyone around you is going to hate you because theyre on mushrooms and little baby voices really trip them out right now. Its just no good for all parties involved.

Don

Be constantly running at a full sprint. I dunno if it saves time at all, but you”ll at least outrun the trolls from that trippy Norwegian ride.

Be constantly running at a full sprint.  I dunno if it saves time at all, but you

Keep cool, man. The security guards at Disney aren”t cops, just nice old men with stickers.

Keep cool, man.  The security guards at Disney aren

Dont look into Rafikis eyes! He is a shifty baboon shaman and he sees your future in the wind.

Dont look into Rafikis eyes!  He is a shifty baboon shaman and he sees your future in the wind.

Remember to watch Tarzan when you get home. Youll be In My Heart came on the parks background track and you were vibing real hard with whatever Phil Collins was singing about. How good was that movie?

Remember to watch Tarzan when you get home. Youll be In My Heart came on the parks background track and you were vibing real hard with whatever Phil Collins was singing about.  How good was that movie?

Go to the Hall of Presidents and confirm your conspiracy theory that all the U.S Presidents meet in secret to talk about you.

Go to the Hall of Presidents and confirm your conspiracy theory that all the U.S Presidents meet in secret to talk about you.

GO TO EPCOT! A lecture on the advancement of human communication in a geodesic sphere is EXACTLY what you want to hear right now.

GO TO EPCOT!  A lecture on the advancement of human communication in a geodesic sphere is EXACTLY what you want to hear right now.

Make sure that when youre coming down off of your Disney drug adventure that you dont do so while in the Its a Small World ride. That place is nothing but babies.

Make sure that when youre coming down off of your Disney drug adventure that you dont do so while in the Its a Small World ride.  That place is nothing but babies.

There are whole books dedicated to how to plan a trip to Disney World, but really all you need is what your friend from high school who calls himself “Axel” can providea little funky fungi. Give this a share to your friends on Facebook and teach them how to do Disney right.