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35 Times You Could Actually Laugh About Your Kid Getting Detention

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Getting detention in school isn”t fun for students, and it”s particularly awful for parents. A detention slip is often viewed as a warning that a child isn”t behaving the way they should. Yet sometimes, the reasons for a student”s detention can get pretty silly, and discipline has to take a backseat to the surreal hilarity that ensues.

1. You”ll feel silly for giving the Second Coming detention when the Antichrist transfers in.

You

2. Religion can be a scary thing.

Religion can be a scary thing.

Also, our proofreaders would like to have a word with this teacher about that hyphen.

3. Little did this teacher know that by looking at pictures of cats, this student was actually preparing for a lucrative career in online media.

Little did this teacher know that by looking at pictures of cats, this student was actually preparing for a lucrative career in online media.

4. I”m considering offering Michael an internship. He finishes his work early and does his own cute dog research.

I

5. Ms. Eads took being called a Furby as a deep slur. She”s actually a Tickle Me Elmo.

Ms. Eads took being called a Furby as a deep slur. She

Can we also talk about “after being spoke to today”?

6. We”re still trying to figure out exactly what that means, and if it”s better (or worse) than being called a Furby.

We

7. You have to admit that this kid has some solid logic. See, the schools haven”t failed him!

You have to admit that this kid has some solid logic. See, the schools haven

8. It was for health class!

It was for health class!

9. There”s a certain charming innocence in this phrasing.

There

10. I”ll admit there was a time in life where “Your mom” was like a reflexive response.

I

11. Ditto here.

Ditto here.

12. Joe has a really solid routine. Someone get this kid an agent.

Joe has a really solid routine. Someone get this kid an agent.

13. Some teachers just don”t appreciate literary allusions. This might have worked better in English class, Katie.

Some teachers just don

This is extra funny if you picture Kate Winslet doing this, because of the student”s name.

14. On an American school”s budget? Have you learned anything, Timothy?

On an American school

15. Jacob was just showing his dedication to public service.

Jacob was just showing his dedication to public service.

16. And so was Anthony.

And so was Anthony.

17. Christopher, however, gets more points for dedication than Anthony.

Christopher, however, gets more points for dedication than Anthony.

18. This is technically not wrong.

This is technically not wrong.

19. This spell is not featured in the Potterverse, so this kid obviously didn”t do the reading.

This spell is not featured in the Potterverse, so this kid obviously didn

Points to this teacher for not censoring the truth.

20. His family would always treasure Jacob”s first “come at me, bro,” and would place this slip in the scrapbook next to the first beer can he crushed on his head.

His family would always treasure Jacob

21. No, I”m pretty sure dropping your pants is something this kid is going to do more than once in his life.

No, I

22. Do you even know what “YOLO” stands for?

Do you even know what

23. There are more socially acceptable ways to ask someone to prom.

There are more socially acceptable ways to ask someone to prom.

24. It was for science!

It was for <i>science</i>!

25. The use of the past progressive here makes this even better.

The use of the past progressive here makes this even better.

26. It”s called multitasking!

It

27. This is truly the worst thing one can be called.

This is truly the worst thing one can be called.

28. Look, you were always after the kids to get involved in politics and social causes. Don”t cry when it backfires.

Look, you were always after the kids to get involved in politics and social causes. Don

29. Your social studies class needs to go over what “communist” means again.

Your social studies class needs to go over what

30. Andy achieved what most of us only dream of doing.

Andy achieved what most of us only dream of doing.

31. The detention slip tells me Raymond got in trouble, but the three exclamation points are telling me that the teacher enjoyed this pun. I know I did.

The detention slip tells me Raymond got in trouble, but the three exclamation points are telling me that the teacher enjoyed this pun. I know I did.

Also, what classroom has lamps?

32. I think Miranda needs something a little stronger than detention for this.

I think Miranda needs something a little stronger than detention for this.

33. Sometimes, we get ludicrous behavior from the teacher, like this delicate blossom and his ego.

Sometimes, we get ludicrous behavior from the teacher, like this delicate blossom and his ego.

Adam, honey. You might want to reconsider your career at this point.

34. …Or this teacher who will have no book learnin”.

...Or this teacher who will have no book learnin

(We know the kid was probably supposed to be paying attention, but it”s funny.)

35. This is when you call an ambulance, not write a detention slip.

This is when you call an ambulance, not write a detention slip.

This is pretty much proof as to why I should never have kids, because I would probably find this behavior too funny to be a disciplinarian. However, I”d be disappointed with myself as a writer if the only insult my child could come up with was “Furby.”